As humans, we look for answers to questions life presents us and struggle often with finding the meaning of a substantial life. From a young age I was raised by a Christian family and attended church weekly. I sat in traditional wooden pews and gazed in awe at the detail found in the massive stained glass windows in our Southern Baptist church sanctuary. The teachings were typically structured around three main points and a closing prayer and most men of the church were home before the Sunday afternoon football game. Life seemed easy enough, however, I was haunted.

At the formidable age of 15 I was raped by two men in their twenties. I made an unwise decision to attend a collegiate party which involved heavy drinking and recreational drug use. At the time of the event, I was slipped a date rape drug and was carried in to an upstairs room where two men undressed me and eventually themselves. I was held down and forced to endure what seemed like a lifetime of sexual assault. The drug eventually took full effect and I fell in to a deep sleep. I woke the next morning to a barren house and an even emptier soul.

I was ashamed of myself and hid the truth of the events from everyone: family, friends, and colleagues. I lived a complex life full of sexual promiscuity, drug use, and confused sexual identity. I felt as though the only way to obtain the life I once had was to subject myself to the same events which were previously forced on me. I thought sleeping with individuals and partaking in drugs would fill the void I carried for what would be eight years. My relationships suffered and I soon found myself alone with nothing more than occasional one night stands and countless empty alcohol bottles. My life, in my eyes, was over and I was simply going through the motions.

Eight years seemed an eternity until I found myself sitting in an auditorium listening to a band of Christians who were heavily tattooed, extremely good looking, and wore skinny jeans. This was not the typical structured church I had grown up in. There was…freedom, in many regards. Thousands attended at numerous locations and hundreds lifted their hands in surrender. The pastor, Steven Furtick, was revolutionary and I soon found myself attending every Saturday evening. I attended the Blakeney location just outside of Charlotte (despite a local campus) because I feared seeing someone I knew where I lived. It was Elevation and the eventual community I built who brought me to The SURGE.

I had begun to grown close to a girlfriend of mine and a relationship bloomed shortly thereafter. It was this friend who took me to see The SURGE one autumn afternoon. I was nervous. She had previously told me of the gift Peta-Gaye was anointed with and I was reluctant to meet her for fear she would see something in me I had kept hidden all of these years. Eventually, my fears were confirmed and Peta-Gaye received an anointing from the Lord. She began to unveil the darkness of my heart and prayed diligently these fears would release their manifestation. Peta-Gaye called me a world changer and someone who had a heavy anointing on their life. I was in disbelief and began sobbing at her revelation. Never had I expected such poignant words to escape the lips of such an amazing woman of God. The SURGE gathered around me and prayed for healing, mercy, and direction. The event was one of the most profound I have ever had.

I write to tell you, whoever you are; there is a mighty force within The SURGE, a force whose momentum is stirred by the right hand of God. These women seek righteousness and pour out the love of God until they are drained. They stand firmly on the principles and teachings of Christ and His Word and because of this they have impacted and cast forth numerous men and women who seek God’s face within their own ministries. I am one of those men. God used Peta-Gaye and The SURGE to build me up and cast me forward. Please, let them do the same for you.

All my love,
Adam